Why is it that 9 times out of 10, when I go to empty out my bulk mail folder in my e-mail, it says that there are 69 unread e-mails?

Why do I tell my daughter to 'watch her eyes' in the morning when I flip on the light in her room? Just how is she supposed to do that?

Why is it that every year I proclaim that I will get the Christmas cards out the day after Thanksgiving, the cookies done within a few days of that, and the decorations out like the rest of the neighborhood...yet, two weeks before Christmas and I haven't done ANY of it yet?

I have sat at this computer the better part of the day...coughing my throat raw (now there's a mental picture for ya) and writing 'papers' and submitting them so that I can be done with another class. I put off doing the unit summaries. I figured they were nothing big deal and I could just whip them out. They aren't anything difficult...just tedious.

And Tuesday night will come, I have another Final Exam to attend (and cough all over everyone in the room...serves them right...they can have the germs back that they showered me with LAST week). It is my last chance to needle the teacher and watch his face turn red while he gives me that look like I'm some naughty child. (which I just might be!) Last week I gave him a bad time...really! I did. He wrote that something above 100 was considered to be ***** while if it measured below 100 it was considered to be *****. So, I NEEDED to know...I raised my hand and said, But what if it is 100? He looked at the board, looked at me, turned red and said, Just remember 'above' and 'below'! He never answered my question! ANd this guy works for OSHA. I have a feeling I may not be getting such a good grade in that class! We did a group 'game' where we were given a list of things to put in order of importance that we salvaged if we were on a ship and it sank leaving us out in the middle of nowhere in the ocean. On the list was a bottle of vodka and a box of chocolate bars and a rope as some of the items. I said I'd melt the chocolate, pour it in the vodka, drink it all down real fast, then tie one end of the rope around my neck and lasso a passing dolphin so that it would drag me through the water real fast and I would drown while being pleasingly passed out drunk...it would kill me and put me out of my misery of spending many days at sea dying of dehydration. He gave me one of these looks: then: Then: Then: Then: It was that last one there that made me go: